PLEBE SUMMER FOR PARENTS

On I-Day, your son or daughter swore an oath to uphold the Constitution and to serve and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. Your son or daughter is not away at college! Your mid is in the United Sates Navy. Plebe Summer is Boot Camp! This one is especially designed for men and women who aspire to be Navy and Marine Officers.

You cannot call them. They cannot contact you. They will be told what to do, what to think, what to say, when to eat, when to sleep…for the next six weeks. They will not have a free moment or be allowed an independent or original thought for the duration of Plebe Summer.

Rest assured that the Academy will take very good care of your mid. After all, they just signed a contract with him for an education costing  $350,000 and intend to see that their investment is well tended. The Academy has top medical facilities and is prepared for just about anything that can and will happen. And they are VERY organized and VERY experienced with this sort of thing. They have done it for the last century and a half.

Sometime before Plebe Parents' Weekend, you will probably receive a letter from your plebe’s company officer. In it, he will introduce himself and will undoubtedly include a line such as “if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.” DO NOT DO IT! Unless there is a dire emergency, parents should not contact the Yard. 

The best way to support your mid is with cards and letters.  There is nothing more disheartening than for your plebe to go to his mailbox and find it empty when other plebes have received a note from home. Keep it upbeat and short! They don’t have time to read lengthy letters. Fill each with something positive. Never pass on bad news that can wait until summer’s end.

DOUBTS DURING PLEBE SUMMER

Sometime during the summer, you may get a phone call or a letter that says “I can’t do this!” or “I made a terrible mistake!” or “I’m going to die if you don’t come and get me!” This is very common during plebe summer, so it is best to be prepared for it. You know your son or daughter more than anyone else does, so only you can gauge the seriousness of these doubts. Some are looking for sympathy, some really do have serious misgivings, and others just need to be encouraged and “pumped up.” You should probably discuss this with your plebe before I-Day.  There may be one person - a family member, friend, or mentor that may be more effective at diffusing the situation, and this may be the best person to respond to your plebe.

In any event, it is crucial that you be strong for your plebe. He is probably at his lowest point now and his future will literally be hanging in the balance. You must offer encouragement, support, and be more courageous than ever before as a parent. This desperation will pass. You know he can do whatever is asked of him and do it better than he thinks possible. Your job at this moment is to convince him that he can do it; that he has what it takes; that he will become a Naval Officer.

If, however, your plebe still seems desperate, he may need to talk directly to one of the Chaplains.  They are trained to help these young people through this difficult summer and beyond. All of these talks are confidential and the Chaplain can help to either get your plebe back on track or confirm that the Academy is not the place for your son or daughter. Sometimes, plebes just need to talk to someone else outside of the military setting and to confirm to themselves that they are in the right place. During Plebe Summer, within the offices of the Chaplain Corps is the only place where plebes can relax and “let down their hair.” You can initiate this contact through a phone call to the Chaplain Office or you can encourage your plebe to contact them.

PHONE CALLS DURING PLEBE SUMMER

Your plebe will be allowed to make his first phone call home after the first couple of weeks of plebe summer. You will know in advance what day and approximately what time his company will be making their calls. It will be during a weekend. Each plebe will be allowed one call and it will be short (5 minutes maximum). DO NOT be away from home during this time, or if you must, get call forwarding. If you are concerned that your plebe will call his girlfriend instead of home, invite the girlfriend to your house and let him know this in advance.

If you can, tape this and subsequent plebe summer calls (on a connected answering machine, for example). That way, you can replay it again, play it for other family and friends not there at the time, and save it as a memento for the future.

When the call comes, let your plebe do the talking and don’t waste precious time on too many trivial questions. Keep the call upbeat and NO TEARS! Offer support and let him/her know that you are behind her 100%. Remind her that the detailer did this two years ago, so she can too! The Academy would not have selected her if they felt she was not up to the challenge.

Make the call a positive experience!

SPONSOR FAMILIES

 Families in the Annapolis area have been volunteering to be a “home away from home” to any mid who requests one. (This sponsor program is different from the NJ Parents Club one which assigns upperclass families to plebe families to help them through plebe year). All sponsors are required to attend a briefing in late July and then have the opportunity to meet their respective midshipmen during PPW. You will generally get an opportunity to meet the sponsor family during this weekend as well.

Sponsors offer the mid the opportunity to experience a home situation with a family on occasional weekends. Although it is officially a “plebe” sponsor program, many family relationships last well beyond the plebe year. In fact, many continue to maintain a special relationship long after their graduation.